Will you still love me When I’m no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me When I got nothing but my aching soul?Lana del Rey, Young and Beautiful
Most of us fall in love at some point in our lives. And we all think, that’s it! Till-Death-Do-Us-Part. True, the love can be very real, but… what if it doesn’t last? Since I heard Lana del Rey’s song, I wonder about that question…
This is not a romantic post, you guessed it. But it is a post about reality and the all too common « D » word.
Divorce is about splitting lives, splitting responsibilities, and splitting assets. Divorce is sad, messy and depressing. Really tough and very stressful.
Wouldn’t it be just a little easier if at least the “money issues” were agreed on beforehand? Yes, you know what I am talking about. The two words most dreaded by brides-to-be:
I know…these words bring loads of fear… I know it from my own experience, and I also know that I am not alone.
Fear is a mind byproduct. Nothing else. Fear is a barrier that keeps us stuck. And even if you don’t feel the type of fear I am talking about, you probably believe that such an agreement is limited to wealthy couples. Or you feel that it will eliminate all the romance and love from the relationship. Or you are simply anxious or confused about how to approach the subject.
We get that. This is an invitation to see it from a different perspective. It’s not about splitting millions or about killing the love. It is an act of self-love; it is about being empowered to make the right decisions for us.
It is a safety measure.
A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that specifies what you and your partner will do with your assets if you get divorced. The size of the assets does not matter, it can be as little or as much as you imagine. No matter what you and your partner decide, you have a say and a voice that is HEARD and ACKNOWLEDGED.
And you are protected.
It is an agreement that, if discussed at the right time, can be sweeter than a pint of Ben and Jerry’s if a divorce ever comes your way!
When is the right time, then? When you are IN LOVE!
A friend of mine was lucky enough to find her soul mate. They got married and after some years, they decided to adopt a son. When the time came to bring their son home, her husband asked her to be a full-time mom. He made enough money to take care of the family. At the time, she had a stable corporate job. Her husband made quite more than her, but her salary was her money. She was looking forward to taking care of the little one, but at the same time, she wondered: “What will happen if at some point I am no longer young and beautiful?”
She knew the challenges of getting back into the workforce after a long absence. She chose an appropriate time to discuss these concerns with her husband. They signed a postnuptial agreement so that she is protected in case of a divorce. Yes! You can sign one AFTER the wedding too! In this case, the agreement brought her the peace of mind that allowed her to take care of the baby full-time without fear of the future.
Isn’t that a luxury everybody would love to have? Every case is unique, and every couple is indeed a different world, but think about it. Especially if you are happy and in love. Never a better time!
Would you consider bringing up the subject of a pre or post nuptial agreement with your partner? Do you think it will kill the romance or bring both of you incredible peace of mind?